Truth Screams

I see the truth in your eyes
but you will not speak your heart.

I dare not get caught up
in this potential illusion,
paralyzed by fear
that my perception is wrong.

You hide behind a facade
of pure & lustful desire,
using actions instead of words.
A slight of hand to keep me guessing

I still see you,
truth screaming in my ears
"I LOVE YOU, DAMNIT!"

My eyes piercing through your game,
knowing I see what you will not admit,
knowing truth will not change things;
knowledge only carving a more painful wound
across both our hearts.

I recognize that
which you battle.
Hopeful desire
with no promise.
A pricey investment
with no return.

Neither of us
willing to make
the ultimate gamble;
love wasted
by silence.

Anticipation

Maybe it's just
the natural rhythms
of my body
that induce this wanting.

I find myself
with thoughts straying
to you, your lips,
your hands, that gaze.

My breath shallows,
my pulse quickens,
my body readies for you.

Torture.

I find myself
deep in fantasy;
my own hands
wandering as if they were yours.

Not enough.
My body craves you.

Kissing You

I know I shouldn't,
but I can't resist.

A joy wells up
within me
when I look at you.

You share in my childlike joy,
you share in my frenzied excitement,
you cheer me on
and I love you for that.

But a lust still resides within us.
I need to have my body pressed against yours,
to feel your hands wander as we embrace.
I find I can never get close enough.

The longer we embrace,
the harder it is to pull away;
and the easier it becomes
to let my lips linger at your neck;
and at the soft lobe of your ear,
softly grazing your skin,
becoming intoxicated as I breathe in your essence.

I have one toe over the line,
the rest of my body daring to cross over,
to let you have me as I want you to.

Alas, I reluctantly pull away just enough
that I may plant kisses upon your cheek,
your forehead, your nose and lastly
upon your soft lips.

I catch my breath and rapidly retreat,
both of us grateful to have escaped
each other's clutches once more.

Simmer

Friends.
That is what we have become,
what we must be,
sharing in each other's company
if only once a week.....

to move and sweat
and breathe;
twisting and stretching,
both of us connecting
to something deeper within us.

Feeling an electricity
when our slippery skin accidentally collides;
our sweat like lighter fluid
ready to ignite
within the small confines
of this spiritual sanctuary.

We dine
We talk
We laugh

It's become our dance.
Careful not to gaze too long
or smile too wickedly;
each of us feeling the residual heat
from a passion that once threatened
to spin out of control.

The space between our encounters
dulling my desire
for a momentary tryst,
until I find myself
in your strong embrace once more.

We flirt at the edge of right and wrong
A heat that is still present
when I look at you
and see the longing in your eyes.

A simmering between us;
a deep desire for one kiss.
To taste each other once again.
The one kiss that would bring this simmer
back to a rolling boil;
spilling over in an unrelenting passion.

I reluctantly pull myself away from the edge;
away from the lustful flames that entice my senses;
making my heart race with excited anticipation.
I retreat back to the life I have chosen,
relieved that I can still call you "friend".