Hidden

The words
I long to speak to you
linger in the spaces
where you can not hear them.

Jut beyond the reach
of your ears
is where they hide.

The moment we hang up the phone,
the second you walk away;
those words silently fall
from my lips,
crashing to pieces at my feet.

My heart breaks to know
what we can not be
as I watch you
share your affections with another,
wishing it were me.

I long for the days before you,
when my heart ached more
for the passions
of creativity and movement;
The truest expressions of my Self,
carefully cultivated and nurtured,
now reduced to an afterthought
in your presence.

I find myself praying for answers;
for a way to navigate through
this friendship
without getting swept up
in the idea of you
and the dream of us.

The answers come, clarity follows;
if only for a short while......
until faced with you
standing before me,
I lose myself once again.